Just Let Me Graduate Already

When I was barely a freshman in university, I (sadly) had set a pretty high standard for myself regarding the academic aspect. I would graduate with my GPA above 3.50, earning that title every single college student in Indonesia (or basically everywhere else? IDK, I couldn't tell) has been dreaming of — cum laude (((no way in hell I'm going for summa cum laude though, which would require me to maintain my GPA to be above 3.80 lmao I ain't that insane))).

Hell, I even promised to both of my parents that I would score both that cum laude title AND graduating within only 7 semesters (normally it would take at least 8 semesters or more to graduate).

Take note, I promised them.

Now I started to feel really remorseful of my past self's big mouth and hella high optimism, because dAMN GIRL, REALLY? REALLY YOU GOTTA BURDEN YOURSELF WITH THOSE PROMISES?

Not only you promised to graduate within only three and a half years, you gotta promise that you'd get the cum laude title as well? My God.

But because of those promises, I always end up remembering them whenever I sink in so low in regards to my study. I also feel like I promised to myself, so if I break this promise I'd be so disappointed of myself. And so here I am, continuously juggling between being not half-assing every single thing I do and being as time efficient as I could.

The freshman me (right), still brimming with positivity.

The struggle I feel is getting more and more real, especially in this fifth semester. Every class I take is a tough one, with their difficulties ranging from intermediate to advanced (no more of those "introduction to" type of thing).

Two of the classes I take are research-based classes. One of them requires me to arrange a research in a small and secluded village. Not to mention I'm taking this one particular class all Indonesian students probably despise: KKN. You can imagine how my brain is so ready to explode at any time soon during this semester.


All those things made me realize one thing:
I don't wanna stretch the time even more, I gotta finish this once and for all.
Now I can't get even more motivated to finish my study in time, preferably within 7 semesters. I also hope I could maintain my already above-three-point-five GPA so I could fulfill my promises in the whole package.

I just wanna GRADUATE and then GET A JOB and then GET MY OWN PLACE. Done deal it's my current short-term goal. I can't take another day being drowned in take-home assignments T_T

Anyways, sorry for ranting.
I hope y'all who read this would do good in whatever you're currently doing.

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