Broken He(art)

Have you ever heard of a saying that, realistically speaking, it's meant to push you and force you to be productive even in your darkest days?

Turn your broken heart into an art.
— Meryl Streep

I get how this sayings ever been said at all — a strong emotion, no matter what, is a guaranteed flow of inspiration sometimes. For me, it goes as far as most of the time to almost every time. Especially when it comes to negative emotions — sadness, anger, disappointment, jealousy; the list just goes on.

And guess what?
I did.

I turned my emotional turmoil into literary turmoil.

Menabung Emas

Photo by Rainer Berg

Minggu lalu, aku jadi salah satu mahasiswa yang diundang Bank Indonesia Wilayah Provinsi Jawa Timur untuk datang ke acara penandatanganan perjanjian kerjasama program sosial Bank Indonesia: Beasiswa Bank Indonesia Provinsi Jawa Timur di Gedung BI Surabaya  lebih tepatnya di Jalan Pahlawan, lokasinya pas banget sebelum Tugu Pahlawan.

Selain penandatanganan MoU dengan berbagai universitas mitra BI untuk Beasiswa BI, juga ada sosialisasi kebanksentralan dan ciri-ciri keaslian uang rupiah untuk para mahasiswa yang hadir disitu. Saat itu, oleh pemateri banyak dijelaskan tentang apa itu bank sentral beserta fungsi dan tugasnya yang notabene belum diketahui masyarakat luas (bahkan aku sendiri juga belum tahu lho, kalau gak dapet ilmu dari situ!). Salah satu tugasnya adalah mengatur inflasi negara agar stabil, karena sedikit inflasi tetap diperlukan untuk perkembangan ekonomi negara.

Dari situ aku jadi inget kasus hiperinflasi di Zimbabwe yang tanda-tandanya udah muncul sejak akhir tahun 90-an. Seketika aku buka Google dan coba cari-cari info untuk dibaca lebih lanjut, karena emang mereka terkenal dengan inflasi yang sangat parah sampai-sampai mata uang mereka satuannya gak main-main: ratusan triliun Zimbabwe Dolar. Buset dah. Perasaan Indonesia yang mata uangnya sampe ratusan ribu menurutku udah banyak banget, gimana mereka.

Kemudian aku dapet sebuah artikel di Quora, yang menjelaskan tentang awal mula hiperinflasi di Zimbabwe itu terjadi, mulai dari penyebab sampai akibatnya (dan bagaimana keadaan mereka sekarang).

Di situ dijelasin lengkap banget, terutama soal uang yang bener-bener kehilangan nilai mereka dan gak dihargai sama sekali, cuma hard assets aja yang punya potensi memiliki nilai tetap. Contoh aset keras misalnya tanah, rumah, emas, dll. Dan aku setuju sih, karena di kehidupan sehari-hari bisa kita lihat kalo kita investasi tanah bakal sangat menguntungkan, karena makin lama makin naik harganya (mostly karena inflasi, tapi the point is still the same: nilainya bakal tetap atau bahkan lebih tinggi).

Dari situ aku mulai mikir, aku harus mulai nyicil untuk nabung dalam bentuk hard asset karena selama ini aku nabung ya cuma dalam bentuk uang di bank. Padahal, overtime nilai uang itu sendiri akan tergerus oleh inflasi. Jadi kalo buat investasi jangka panjang kurang ideal, karena nilainya bakal berkurang seiring berjalannya waktu. Aku pun mulai mempertimbangkan untuk investasi dalam bentuk emas.

Kenapa emas?

Alasan pertama, karena harganya masih tergolong terjangkau untuk sebuah hard asset. Kita bisa beli mulai dari 1gr, kalo udah punya uang lebih bisa ditingkatkan secara progresif. Jadi, bisa banget buat disesuaikan sama budget kita pada saat itu. Kebetulan budget-ku tergolong lumayan, jadi aku bisa beli agak banyak dengan harga lebih murah tiap gramnya.

Alasan kedua, karena proses jual-belinya gak ribet sama sekali. Kalo mau beli ya beli aja, kalo mau jual ya jual aja. Gaada proses yang panjang kaya kita mau beli tanah atau rumah, yang harus balik nama, bayar pajak, ke notaris, dsb. Yang penting adalah ada sertifikat keaslian dan kemurnian emas itu sendiri, especially kalo kita beli emas dari Logam Mulia PT. Antam.

Alasan ketiga, karena nilainya cenderung stabil atau bahkan naik. Gaada tuh namanya ketar-ketir tiap hari mantengin nilai saham buat liat harganya naik atau turun, jadi sangat cocok buat investasi jangka panjang.

Alasan ketiga, karena bener-bener minimum risk, sehingga cocok buat pemula yang ingin mencoba investasi dalam hal lain selain cuma dalam bentuk uang.

Jadi gimana, tertarik buat mencoba menabung emas?

The Story Behind My Short Hair

Drastic? I think so.

Breaking news!
Well, if you've been following me on my social medias then this isn't even a breaking news...

But!
If you haven't!
Then breaking news it is!

I CUT MY HAIR SHORT.

Like, real short.
Super short.
Pixie hair short.
Undercut in barbershop short.

Why, you ask?
And how?
Well, let's take a look back...

Just a month ago, I used to have a barely-longer shoulder-length hair, probably it'd pass as a lob (the acronym for long bob) (I think?). For as long as I could remember well over primary school, I've never taken any risks in my hairstyles (except hair color, which I love to experiment with once in a while). My hair used to revolve around the "safe" styles: long shaggy, long layered, bob, lob, or this-hairstyle-I-can't-name-because-the-last-time-I-went-to-salon-was-when-I-finished-high-school improvisation, DIY haircut — with side or front bangs, some twist of shaved inner-back side to make it less frizzy, etc.

Here are the revolution of my hair (through my Instagram page, in a chronological order):

Dear My Future Children

I'm not letting my kids to live in such a toxic world where everything is in a chaotic state and technology development couldn't even help humans to humanize humankind;

I'm not letting my kids to live without any security of their future wellbeing especially in regards natural resources and other essentials like employment and settlement for whichever municipality they'd choose to settle in the world is still an ugly place to live;

I'm not going to throw them into a dungeon where a man is a wolf to man and make them wish they'd never been born instead because they didn't even asked to be born in the first place and frankly that'd be the most heartbreaking thing I'd heard because it is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard for I've listened to people that I love saying it in front of me and I could watch the lights in their eyes slowly faded away and I couldn't afford my future kids to feel the same;

Because I want them to have the best and I want them to have all the good things in the world even though that'd be impossible but I still want them to live in a better world where everyone could love whoever they want to love and everyone could believe whatever they want to believe and intersectionality is a thing and everyone is equal and humans are thriving for heaven on earth creating a better place for everyone.

But the world isn't ready yet;
Neither am I,
Neither are my future kids.

I'm in Love with the Cault Cault

Photo credit

Cheesy headline, yes I know. I couldn't help but to be punny in every chance I got.

Ah, holiday. A word so blissful yet so surreal when we're a university student. Yes, the classes might be off, the exams might be on halt, but trails of those somehow would still get to you eventually. No, I'm not talking about the upcoming new semester coming just next week in my campus (yeek! I freak out whenever I think about having to snooze through my blasting alarms that I set to go off every five minutes the night before on daily basis, AGAIN). I'm talking about the campus business—y'know, writing some stuffs about things that you actually like and might enjoy but you just can't because you're being forced to (that's an important keyword there, forced)...

...and that's what I actually went through these last three days.

One of my beloved lecturer that I couldn't stop admiring, Mrs. Kandi, gave my best friend, Steffi, and I a project to help her with her research mainly about power relations between the state and LGBT community as a subculture in Indonesia. The main samples came from Facebook statuses of Indonesians, the pro-LGBT and the con-LGBT, that contained some keywords, like 'LGBT', 'homo', and such; then we analyze the samples with relevant theories. Me, being the one who got the responsibility to analyze it more about the power relations going on between those two mentioned above, had to seek for references related to it.

When you heard about the term 'power relations', what was the thing that first came to your mind? If you ask me, personally I'd describe it as the division of power between the oppressor and the oppressed at first. In some way, that might be correct; but turned out it wasn't so simple according to some eyeglasses wearing, preppy looking philosopher.

It is Michel Foucault, a France born and raised philosopher and social theorist well-known for his postmodernist view. Several of his most famous works include Discipline and Punish, Power/Knowledge, The Order of Things, Madness of Civilization, The Archaeology of Knowledge, and The History of Sexuality.

I myself had a fascination for Foucault when I started to learn about critical theories in university—along with the head-start of my burning intellectual infatuation towards Jacques Derrida, a philosopher too but mostly known for his contribution to post-structural and deconstruction (I'm so big on post-structural *insert heart emoji here*). My lecturers often mentioned Foucault in class and brought up some of his theories when they were giving examples of analytical framework to view and analyze one problem or another. They also relentlessly kept reminding the whole class to look him and his ideas up and learn more about them. And so eventually I couldn't keep my hands off my phone to type his name on Google Search after numerous occasion of my lecturers telling me to do so.

And boy did I regret my decision not to do that earlier.

Because really, his works are magnificent—very thought-provoking, completely mind-blowing. It is truly a vitamin to the brain, an academically euphoric material to satiate your thirsts for knowledge; it never cease to leave me thinking and analyzing and wanting for more—a masterpiece in the form of texts on the sheets of paper. Definitely a pinnacle of theory craftsmanship in the 20th century.

The professor in my department once said something about 'text orgasm', in which when your brain felt such an ecstatic sensation after you read cerebral stimulating texts... and I think I just done had that.

Man, I love doing this.